Journeys Of Life
by Sabrina Lonewalker
Summary: This is an AU. Peter had a twin sister, Laura. She is separated from them when the Temple is destroyed and must find a way to survive on her own. This is her journal, her life and struggles as seen through her eyes. She mourns the loss of father and brother but determines that no one will change what she must become. Join her on her journey.
1. Chapter 1

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART ONE

by

BlackFury

July 2002

Even after twenty five years, I still have the nightmares sometimes. I hear the explosions, the screams and the gunfire. I can smell the smoke and feel the heat of the flames as my entire world collapsed around me in one horrible, terrifying night.

I've basically been on my own ever since then and I haven't done too badly, considering that I was only twelve years old when all of this happened to me but, when you're forced by fate to look and act five years older than you really are, you tend to grow up very fast and lose any illusions about life in general.

Now, of course, having all of my family with me helps alot. Finding Father and my brother alive after all was one of, if not the greatest joys I have ever experienced. Don't get me wrong, what I went through, what I did to survive, to get to this place in my life makes everything I have gained that much sweeter. Of course, there's always my beloved husband, encouraging me to write all of this down for posterity. The silly, doesn't he realize by now that I've been writing it all down my entire life?

That's what this journal has been about, my life and the way I've had to live it since that fateful night so long ago. I want my children to know what I lived through, what I did to get to this place. At least it won't be dull reading. Neither would a journal of my husband's exploits. At least our children could read what we did with our lives. I never thought about keeping a journal when I was much younger, like my father and his before him had done but then, I had a stable home and family and was content. It took Master Dao and his attack to make me see I had a lot to learn and write about.

You know, Sometimes my beloved is such a silly but, I love him so much more than anything else in this world. Don't get me wrong, I love my children but him, I think we actually saved each others lives by falling in love.

Now however, it all seems so unfair. I have my husband, my children and even found my Father and Peter alive after all and now, I find that I'm dying, dying of the same dammned blood disorder that killed mine and Peter's mother when we were two years old. But, my darling is right, the children and my father and brother deserve to know how I grew up.

So, I'll try to finish this journal for them all to read, so they will know what I remember, how I felt, what I thought. I hope that, when Father and Peter do read this that they understand that I did what I had to do to survive, to continue our family name and that I do not regret a single thing that I have done, then or now and that if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing, even knowing now what I didn't know then.

I love all of you, David, my husband, our four children, Micheal Paul, Raven Marie, Laura Diane and my youngest, Mathew Chang. Father, Peter, finding the two of you again has meant so much to me. I love you both.

All my Love,

Laura Leann Caine-Griffin


	2. Chapter 2

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART TWO

by

BlackFury

March 1977

The first explosion shook me out of my bed at around 1:00 a.m. I picked myself up off of the floor and hurriedly dressed in what I called my 'going to town clothes', jeans, boots, turtleneck and jacket. I then pulled the backpack out from underneath my bed. It contained spare clothing, the copies I had written of my ancestors journals and the few treasures I had collected. As I straightened up, I could now hear the shouts of fighting and the screams of fear. It all seemed to be coming from the main room of the temple that had been my family's home for the past ten years.

After shouldering the pack, I cautiously made my way out of my room and ran into Master Khan, our weapons teacher, near the stairs. I asked him what was going on and he told me that Master Dao had returned with a large force and was intending to destroy everything that my father, Kwai Chang Caine, had spent the last seven years building up, all because my father had finally driven Dao away from the temple, especially after he had found the 'good master' trying to molest me up by the koi pond earlier that same day. I listened and watched as Master Khan headed back towards the fighting. I ran to the apothecary.

Once inside, I began gathering up all of the herbs I could take with me. I found the ones already packaged and stuffed them into the pack. The ones that were still in their glass jars, I emptied into travelling packs and placed those in my pack as well, trying to leave none of them behind. I had been working with my father and old Ping Hai since I was seven and knew alot about the different herbs and their uses. Father said that I had the makings of a good apothecary.

After packing all of the herbs that I could, I returned to my room and, after loosening the two bricks in the northwest corner, I removed the small bag of money that I had saved over the years, from various birthdays, other holidays, etc. It wasn't much but, it was all I had. I then went into my brother's room and found his bag, fulling intending to give it to him after all of this was over, at least, that was what I had intended to do.

I then headed below knowing that, if Master Dao found me, my life would become a living hell, if not ended on the spot so, I went into the basement and the tunnel entrance I had discovered about six years ago. I had told no one about this, not Father, Peter, Ping Hai, no one. This was my secret. This tunnel had become my refuge where I could read, meditate or sleep, whatever I had wanted to do. But now, all of that was going away.

Just as I entered the tunnel and pulled the old door closed, I felt a huge explosion rock the temple and I half ran down the tunnel. About halfway, I stopped and listened. I couldn't hear anything and I wasn't sure if it had all stopped or if I just couldn't hear because of where I was. I also started shaking, I guess in reaction as the enormity of what had happened finally caught up with me.

I pulled out the blanket I had brought with me and sat down, with my back against the cool tunnel wall. I then nibbled on one of the pressed rice cakes I had packed and took a sip from my water bottle, thinking about everything. Then, after covering myself with the blanket, I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up, the silence was almost eerie. I must have slept for several hours. I folded my blanket, reshouldered my backpack and headed on to when the tunnel opened into a cave near the lakeshore. When I came out, the position of the sun in the sky told me it was late afternoon. When I looked at the plateau, I started to cry.

That beautiful temple that had been my home for ten years was gone. All that was left was smoking rubble. The top, where the koi pond had been had been completely leveled and all I could think of was those poor koi fish, not understanding why they were dying. I looked around but, there was no movement, no one around. The survivors, however many there had been, were all gone now.

I saw the small grove where the burial ground was and made my way over there when I saw several new markers had been set up. When I got there, I looked at them in disbelief then, I sank to my knees in shock. I saw my Father's name and Peter's. My family was gone. I was truly alone now. Then, I looked and saw a marker with my name on it.

'So,' I thought, 'They believe that I died as well. Good, then if Master Dao believes I died, he won't be looking for me.'

I prayed at the markers for a few minutes and then, went back to the lake where my mother, Laura Catherine Caine was buried. I couldn't remember much about her and had only seen her through Father's eyes. She had died when Peter and I were two years old. She never really seemed to be alive to Peter and I but, I loved her all the same even though she sometimes seemed so remote and far away. Now, memeories were all I had left, of her, Father and Peter.

I sat there until the moon was up and finally fell asleep next to her headstone. When I awoke the next morning, the sun was shining full in my face and, after washing my hands and face in the lake, I went back to my mother's grave and knelt down.

"I'll always remember you, Mom. I'm glad that Dad and Peter are with you now and, someday, I'll join you. Until then, goodbye."

Then, I shouldered my backpack and, after taking one last, long look behind me, I walked away from the only life and home I had ever known.

I headed out to wherever my steps would take me, trusting in the Tao to show me my path. Of course, I was frightened, what twelve year old wouldn't be?

However, I had only the Tao and myself to rely on, as well as the teachings from my father and the other monks at the temple. I knew I'd be all right.

End Journal Entry


	3. Chapter 3

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART THREE

by

BlackFury

March 1977-November 1980 continued

When I started walking, I shied away from the town of Braniff that was below the temple. Too many people there knew me for who and what I was and I didn't want their pity or sympathy so, I headed in the other direction. I knew that I looked older than my twelve years and I acted that way as well. I was never sure why, maybe it was the way I grew up in the temple but, it felt right, it was me.

I finally arrived in the small town of Arrowroot late that afternoon and found both a place to stay and a job waiting tables. I gave my age as seventeen and no one questioned me about it or about not having a social security number. I found the work to be satisfying and I also managed to practice my apothecary skills once in awhile, like when Jackson, the cook, burned his arm on the grill. I had the right herbs with me and used them to treat the burns. It felt good to be doing that.

I stayed in Arrowroot for almost three years until I had earned enough money to move furthur away. I knew, somehow, that if I stayed too long, I might be found out so, I combined the small amount of money I had from the temple with what I had saved from my job to buy a train ticket that would, hopefully, take me even furthur away from my memories.

When I went to the train station to get my ticket, I gave the ticket clerk the same name I had given them at the diner, Catherine Leann Carter. I knew that would keep me safe from Master Dao, especially since he believed me already dead.

Finally, it was a cold November morning when I finally boarded the train that would take me away, heading east. I took my seat beside a window and watched the scenery pass by as we built up speed, wondering what fate and the Tao had in store for me now.

I remembered standing at the graves of my father and brother, vowing that someway, somehow, I would make Master Dao pay for everything he had taken away from me. Somehow, I would have compensation for the loss of my family and the only life I had ever known.

The train made a few stops along the way and those of us who were going farther would get out to stretch our legs, maybe have lunch and, in my case, buy a book or two to read once back on board.

As the train resumed it's journey, a young woman with ash blonde hair and large sunglasses was seated across from me. I thought the glasses were strange until I saw the folded up white cane beside her on the seat and I understood, she was blind. Her voice was soft as she could feel me take my seat.

"I hope you don't mind my sitting here." She said. I smiled, "No, not at all. I'm Catherine." I reached out and picked up her hand to shake it. She grinned and returned the handclasp. "I'm Annie, Annie Blaisdell. I'm heading home to Carlsburg New York. Where are you going?" I looked out the window, glad that she couldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. They must have showed through in my voice, however.

"I'm leaving behind a lot of sad memories. I lost my family a couple of years ago and, I need to get as far away as possible." Annie slipped onto the seat beside me and pulled my head onto her shoulder. "Oh, my dear, and now you have no one?" I smiled sadly, "No, just myself. I'll be alright, eventually. I have my memories."

Annie smiled and told me about having been blind since she was three months. I marveled at this woman's strength and courage. Then, I saw the wedding set on her left hand. "So, you're going home to someone who loves you."

Her smile was radient. "Yes, Paul will be waiting for me at the station, along with my two step-daughters, Carolyn and Kelly. Their mother died soon after Kelly's birth and, they love me." I smiled.

"That's good to hear, usually step children don't get along well with the new parent." Annie smiled again and we talked until I heard the conductor calling that we were coming into St. Louis Missouri. I looked at me traveling companion. "This is where I get off. Have a safe journey. I liked talking with you."

Annie smiled at me, "Maybe someday, you'll come to Carlsburg?" I grinned, "If I do, I'll look you up, ok?" She nodded and, I left the train, thinking that I would never see her again. Shows you how little I knew about what the Tao had in store for me.

End Journal Entry


	4. Chapter 4

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART FOUR

by

BlackFury

November 1980

I descended from the train at the St. Louis station and looked around. I then turned and watched as the train began to slowly pull away, resuming it's travel and said a silent prayer to the Tao for Annie's safety. Once the cars had disappeared, I made my way into the city. I knew from my copy of Great grandfather's journal, which I had with me along with copies of the ones written by my grand father and father, that the house Great grandfather and his family had lived in was here. I hoped to find it from his description and suprisingly, I did. I was even more suprised to find it had been well maintained.

Unfortunately, I also saw the 'For Sale' sign and was saddened. I walked to the real estate agent listed and inquired about the property. I was told that, due to the fact that the last memeber of the family had died, without heirs, that the house had been put up for sale. I left the office feeling sad. I didn't want the house to go out of the family but, I didn't even have enough for a down payment, besides, in order to claim the house, I would have to reveal my true identity and that was something I just couldn't do now.

I came upon a small sidewalk cafe and sat down. When the waiter came over, I ordered a cup of jasmine tea. Once it came, I sipped at it and thought over what I could possibly do. I wanted to stay in this city since my great grandfather had basically, started the family here but, how could I without the family home?

I had lost all track of time and was startled to hear a voice speak to me, asking me if I was ok. I looked up and saw him, the man who became, in that moment and still is to this day, the love of my life.

He had sandy coloured hair and the most brilliant green eyes I had ever seen. He wasn't over large but strength showed in every line of him. He was, at that time, two years older than my actual age, which made him seventeen.

I managed a small smile. "Sorry, you startled me. I'm Catherine Carter and I just got into town. You are?" I asked. He grinned and, turning a chair around, sat down. His smile was dazzling.

"I'm David, David Griffin. My sister and her new husband live not too far from here. my oldest brother is in the Army, serving in the Middle East. My Dad's in the hospital, Mom's visiting him. I'm the baby of the family."

As he talked about his family, his sister expecting her first child, my own loss came rushing back to overwhelm me. His voice trailed off as he saw my expression change. His voice changed and sounded concerned.

"Hey, are you ok? Is something bothering you, Cathy?" I think I really worried him when, without warning, I burst into tears. He froze for a moment then, he pulled me into his arms, letting me bury my face in his shoulder. He let me cry until I finally pulled back. He took out his handkerchief and handed it to me, letting me wipe my face and eyes. I then managed a weak smile.

"I'm sorry, but, I lost my Mom when I was two and then, three years ago, I lost my father and brother in an explosion and fire. I'm all alone now. I don't know anyone here and I'm not even sure if I'm going to stay here. I really don't know what to do."

He was thoughtful for a few moments and then, I saw a slight smile. He got up and, holding out his hand, helped me to my feet and led me to the parking lot where he unlocked the passenger side door of a 1965 dark blue Mustang. Once I was seated, he went around and slid in under the steering wheel. He turned the ignition and, once we were on the road, he spoke.

"I'm taking you to my sister, Marilyn's house. Now, no arguments. I'm sure that she has a spare room for you, at least until you can find a job, ok?" I laughed and then told him about the house I had seen and how much I wished that I could buy it. He looked at me strangely after we had stopped at a stop sign. "Why would you want that old place? No one has lived there in years."

I nodded, "I know that but, I like the place, somehow, it feels like home to me. I love old houses and the garden in the back of this one is beautiful. That's something I like to do to relax, grow herbs, flowers and vegetables. I spent some time with an old apothecary and he taught me all that he knew about herbalism and gardening. It's just something I love to do." We drove on in silence.

About a half an hour later, we pulled into the drive way of a modest, two story brick house with trees and a flower garden at the side. We got out and David bounded up the walk, the steps and in through the front door, calling out, "Hey, Sis, you here? I found you an occupant for the spare room, Come on and meet them."

A tall, dark haired woman came out of the kitchen, wearing a blue apron over her yellow sundress and drying her hands on a towel. "David, what have you done now?" She looked over at me and her eyebrows rose slightly. She looked back at David and I cleared my throat.

"Excuse me, but, My name is Catherine Carter. I just arrived here in St Louis and your brother was the first person, besides the waiter at the cafe to speak to me. He said that you had a room available, at least, until I can get a job and find my own place?"

She looked back at me and smiled as she walked to me, holding out her hand. "I'm Marilyn Manse and you have obviously met my younger brother, David. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a room available, at least, for a few more months." It was then that I remembered David telling me his sister was expecting her first child. I looked at her for a moment.

"You are five months along, aren't you?" I asked, and her face showed her suprise as she nodded. I asked her about her morning sickness and she just grimiced. She told me that her doctor hadn't found anything, so far, to help alliveate it. So, I asked her if I could go into her kitchen. She said yes then, she and David followed me as I walked in.

End Journal Entry


	5. Chapter 5

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART FIVE

by

BlackFury

November 1980 continued

I sat my pack on Marilyn's kitchen table and, as I pulled out packs of herbs, I could hear David in the background telling his sister, in a low voice, what I had said to him about my training and studies. I measured out the herbs I needed, then, blended them together. I stored them in an empty jar I had with me then, using one of the labels from the temple, wrote out what the mixture was for then, labeled the jar. Once I had that done, I handed the jar to Marilyn.

I smiled, "Once the handful of herbs has steeped for about five minutes, you can strain them out and drink the tea. It will help relieve the morning sickness." I stopped as I felt my throat righten and the tears form in my eyes then, I continued, "My father made this mixture for my Mom when she was carrying myself and my twin brother. According to her, it worked wonders."

David then took up the tale, telling Marilyn what I had told him about losing my family. Her face changed and after setting down the jar, pulled me into her arms. I had started shaking and she held on to me and mummured in my ear till I was able to get control of myself again.

We then sat at the kitchen table and she looked up at David. "Mom called, could you go to the Hospital and get her? She needs to go home for a few, pick up some fresh pajamas for Dad and a few things for herself, then take her back to the Hospital?" David nodded and, dropping a kiss on his sister's head, winked at me and headed out the door.

After the sound of his car disappeared, I told Marilyn how I wished that I could buy the "Old Caine Place" as David had called it but, with no money and, right now no job, I just didn't see any way to obtain it.

Marilyn listened to me describe the house and grounds and I could tell that her light blue-green eyes were shrewdly appraising me. I finished talking and waited for what she had to say. As if she had made up her mind, she nodded slightly and looked right at me. "I think that I can help you with the house but first, May I ask you something, strictly personal?"

I looked right back at her and made up my own mind. "Of course and, if I can answer, I'll tell you what I can."

Marilyn continued to scrutinize me where I sat opposite her and I could tell from the expression on her face that she knew something wasn't quite right. I then watched as she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then, she looked into my eyes again. "Who are you, really? This is just to satisfy my own courosity and, I have the feeling that you need a friend right now. besides, you are no where near seventeen, not by a long shot."

I smiled a little ruefully and shook my head. I should have known that I couldn't fool everyone however, those I had to fool, I could. I looked down at my tea mug and then, looked up at her. The sense of relief I felt must have been showing cause she managed a small smile.

I looked up. "My real name is Laura Leann Caine. That house actually does belong to my family. There are a few things that I did not lie about. My mom did die when my twin brother and I were two years old. Then, my father and brother died in a explosion and fire three years ago in the Temple we lived in in Northern California. I'm actually fifteen. The reason I changed my name is because my family was murdered and, if the man responsible knew that I was still alive, he would, in all likeliehood, come after me. The whole story would probably bore you to tears. I learned herbalism and the Healing arts from my father, who was a Shaolin priest, and his fellow monks. I was raised Shaolin and I follow the Tao. If that will cause problems for you and your family, I will leave now."

I watched Marilyn's face as I told her my story and saw no judgement, just curousity and then, she told me that she had seen the story in a newspaper three years ago. She then asked me a question, "Is anyone looking for you?"

I smiled sadly and shook my head, "No. Since they all believe I died in the explosion and fire, no one is looking for me. Actually, once the fire started, I hid in an old tunnel I had discovered that started in the basement. When I finally made my way out, everyone else was long gone and that was when I found out that my father and brother were dead.

You see, there's a small grove near the Temple that was used as a burial ground. That's where I found the markers telling me about my family. I then saw one set up for me and I was suprised but, decided that if that was what was believed, I'd keep it that way. I took off on my own and, I've always looked and acted older than I really am. It has really helped me out. I have the skills I learned from my father and his fellow monks and I survive by those and my wits."

Marilyn listened and I saw her eyes widen in amazement and then, I saw respect creep into them. When I finished my story, she reached out and laid one hand on mine. "Of course, you can stay with us as long as you like, and, we'll see what we can do about the house, all right?"

I thanked her and she then showed me upstairs to my room which was on the southeastern corner. It was a pleasant room, filled with sunshine and warmth. I liked it. We agreed upon a small sum per month and Marilyn went back downstairs, saying that supper would be at seven p.m. I used the rest of the afternoon to settle in and freshen up.

After Marilyn left, I sat on the floor in my half lotus position and closed my eyes, searching for some spark of either my father or Peter but, as before, I found nothing and that continued to bother me. With a quiet sigh, I rose to my feet and went through my pack, laying out the packs of herbs I still carried. My supply was diminishing and I need to restock soon. Then, I found the pack of cooking herbs I had brought along so, I carried them down to the kitchen.

I asked Marilyn if she could use them and she accepted them gratefully but refused to let me help her, saying that since I was a guest, I shouldn't help with the meal. I abided by her wishes and returned to my room.

I heard David arrive shortly thereafter and he helped his sister. That night, I came down and was introduced to her husband, Robert Manse. He was a quiet man and was definitely excited to be a father. He was also obviously in love with Marilyn which, I could sense, made David very happy.

It turned out that, after dinner, Robert wanted to take Marilyn out to a movie so, David and I agreed to clean up the kitchen while they were gone. As we were doing the dishes, David went quiet and I could sense his worry. I asked him what was wrong with his father and he stayed quiet, as he dried three plates and put them away. He then leaned back against the granite countertop and sighed. His green eyes finally met mine and I could see that they were clouded with worry and fear.

It was a few minutes before he spoke to me. His voice was soft. "The doctors say that his heart is slowly shutting down due to disease. That and the prostrate cancer he was diagnosed with last summer don't add to his overall health. The doctors don't think that he'll hold on much longer but, we're hoping that my oldest brother can get an emergency leave to come see him but, it's been difficult. Dad has said that he won't give up until he can see Kermit again, he really misses him."

I turned and looked at David, wondering if I had heard him correctly and then I saw his smile. "I know, I know. Everyone in town is wondering why my parents wanted to name him that but, It seems to suit him. Kermit's a good man and a real good brother. Marilyn and I miss him alot. He likes the Army. I just hope he can get here in time. I'd like for you to meet him."

I remember smiling at him. "I'll be glad to meet him when he arrives, now, is that all of the dishes?" He nodded and I walked him to the front door, where he then suprised me by kissing my cheek. He told me that he was going back to his parents house, to stay there while his parents were in the hospital. I watched him drive off and then returned to my room, a little bemused but, shrugging it off.

The next day, Marilyn drove me into town so that I could look for a job while she went to see her doctor. I saw a small herbalist shop and went inside to replenish my supplies. After talking with the owner, I left with a job beginning in two days. When I met with Marilyn at a small sidewalk cafe for lunch, I told her what the shopkeeper had said and she was pleased.

We drove back to the house and I made tea. While we were sitting at the kitchen table, Marilyn reached into her purse and pulled out a long, legal sized envelope which she then handed to me. I looked at it wonderingly and she smiled. "I got you something I thought that you would like so, go ahead, open it." I was definitely curious by now so, I did. Imagine my amazement when I pulled out the deed to my old family home, in my name, free and clear! I raised my eyes to Marilyn's beaming face.

End Entry


	6. Chapter 6

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART SIX

by

BlackFury

November 1980 continued

I continued to stare at the paper in my hand and finally managed to speak. "How? Why?" were the only coherent words I could get out. Marilyn's blue-green eyes were dancing with mirth. "How is my little secret and why? You should live in your familys home and, it would have been yours by right if you hadn't been presumed dead in the explosion. So, I know it needs a little cleaning but, it's been kept in good repair all of these years. When would you like to move in?"

I had trouble believing what I was hearing but, It was my home and, it was where I really belonged. I finally managed to smile at her. "I'd like to move in as soon as possible because you're going to need the time to prepare the room I'm in for your son's nursery."

She looked at me and blinked, "A boy? How could you possibly know if it is or not?" It was my turn to smile slyly. "I was raised Shaolin and we have a way of, 'sensing' auras and the life force, which we call the 'chi'. That tells me you are going to birth to a boy." Marilyn just chuckled and shook her head. "Well, we'll see soon enough now, let's get you into your home where you belong."

Six days later, I was in possession of my family's home and settled in. I started my new job during that time as well and my days were now full of activity. Tending the garden brought me such peace and calmness of spirit. It was divided into three sections, flowers, vegetables and, my favorite, the herb garden. I knew that many, if not all of the plantings here, were started by my great grandfather, the first Kwai Chang Caine.

One evening, I went inside and, after lighting the candles, I pulled out the copy I had made of my great grandfather's journal. In fact, I had copies of all three, his, my grandfather, Mathew's and my father's own journal. It saddened me to think that the original journals had been destroyed in the fire and explosion but, at least I had these. Now, however, it was my great grandfather's that I selected and randomly let it fall open in my lap. I began reading the Chinese characters I had copied so carefully and, it was as though I could hear my great grandfather speaking to me. The entry wasn't dated but, it was obviously written after he and his family had moved in.

"The garden flourishes and Lilly is very pleased with the vegetables I have planted for her. She said that now, she could save on food expenses and use the money for more important uses, like clothing for Mathew.

Mathew has begun helping me out here, asking questions about the different herbs I have been setting out and their uses. Having him assist me is bringing us closer together.

It pains me to realize that even in this place of peace, I cannot remain still. Those who seek my death are still out there and pursue me and, to keep my beloved ones safe, I must soon leave them alone again.

For now, however, for as long as the Tao grants me, I will plant roses and other flowers for my beloved Lilly. Perhaps, when I must leave them behind again, they will remind her of me and the love that we will always share. She is my heart and leaving her and my son behind hurts more than I could ever put into words.

I sat there with the journal open in my lap, marvelling at how the garden had managed to survive all of these decades, along with the house. It again had me thinking about Father and Peter.

I rose to my feet and, after closing the journal, I kissed the cover and replaced it on my bookshelf. I then went into the small room I had discovered had been great grandfather's meditation room. David had bought me a red jade Buddha as a housewarming present and I now had it setting on a low table with an incense tray in front of it. I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of it and lit three sticks of incense.

Behind them were two photos, one of Peter when he was eleven and one of my mother and father, taken on their wedding day. I sat there and meditated for awhile before finally going to my sleeping room and the futon I had found for the house. I laid down to sleep and mummured, "I'll go on, great grandfather, I won't let the family legacy die, I promise."

As I blew out the large candle, I could swear that I heard his voice in my mind, "I know, great granddaughter, and I will watch over you."

End Entry


	7. Chapter 7

JOURNEYS OF .LIFE

PART SEVEN

by

BlackFury

January 1981

I had arrived in St. Louis in late November and, as the school year deepened, I saw less of David as he was caught up in high school and everything that goes along with it. My job at the herbalist shop kept me occupied, especially when the owner ended up in the hospital, suffering from kidney cancer.

David would come by after school and tell me about his day and his friends but, I could sense that something wasn't quite right but, I knew that if David wanted me to know, he would tell me. He was also upset that his brother, Kermit was having trouble getting his emergency leave because new fighting had broken out in the Middle East.

Their father was still holding on, determined not to go anywhere until his oldest could come home to say goodbye to him. I smiled on hearing that.

In the middle of January, I went to see Marilyn. It had been snowing, not too heavily but enough to frost the roads. The winds had also picked up and were icy. I had on my boots and a warm coat Marilyn and David had given to me the past Christmas. When I arrived at the house, I knocked and was startled to hear Marilyn call out, "Come in, quickly, Cathy!"

The door wasn't locked so, I went in to find her bent over in the dining room. She looked at me and the pain was radiating from her in waves. "You've gone into labour, haven't you?" She nodded, "My water broke just before you got here. I called the ambulance but..." I nodded. "Your child is on his way. He's going to be born here."

Just then, another contraction seized her and I helped her onto the living room sofa. I then looked up at her. "You are correct, they will not arrive in time. This baby is coming now. Do you trust me?"

Marilyn nodded and, thirty minutes later, her son was in her arms, the cord was still attached, I hadn't thought it was a good idea to seperate them just yet.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes later and they clamped off the cord then, they placed Marilyn and her newborn in the ambulance and whisked them to the hospital. I locked up the house for her and headed for David's school to tell him what had happened.

I found him outside on the football yard and he ran over to me. I told him what had happened and his eyes lit up when I told him about his nephew but, something in his manner, his 'chi' was different. He thanked me for telling him then, took off back into the school.

I made my way back to the shop, thinking about how the circle of life and death goes on, no matter what. It also made me sad, thinking about Mom, Father and Peter and how much I missed all of them.

Three weeks later, Marilyn and her son came home. I had arrived early and made sure the house was clean, ready and, I had gone from room to room, cleaning each space so that only positive energeries flowed through there. I also prepared a another special blend of tea for her, one to soothe her nerves now that the pregenancy and labour were done.

After everyone had arrived to welcome the newborn, Marilyn asked me if I would like to hold her son. I did and smiled as he yawned, hugely and curled up his tiny fists. I looked at her. "Have you chosen his name yet?" Marilyn nodded. "Robert insisted on Jason, for his own father. I chose the middle name and, with your permission, I chose Peter." I was suprised but pleased.

Then, I recieved another suprise. Marilyn smiled and looked at me. "I talked it over with my husband and he agrees. We would like for you to be Jason's Godmother. Would you?"

End Entry


	8. Chapter 8

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART EIGHT

by

BlackFury

January 1981

I stared at Marilyn for a few moments and then looked down into young Jason's face. I handed him back to his mother and closed my left fist and pressed it into my right palm as I bowed to her. "It is I who would be honored, my friend." She smiled. "I'm glad. One of Robert's friends has agreed to stand as Godfather. Of course, there's Kermit and David as well so, Jason will be well looked after."

I nodded and left soon thereafter, going back to my home. I had cleaned and prepared the gardens for when the weather would break and I could begin planting again. I looked around me and wondered how the rest of my life would be. I loved staying here but, somehow, I knew that my place here wasn't permanent, that was the legacy of my family, we never stayed in one place for very long.

I was fifteen now, just one more year and I would be considered of legal age in this state. I wondered if I should resume my real name but, something inside said 'No', and I felt that it wasn't safe yet someday, I resolved that I would tell David and his brother, once Kermit arrived. They had been so good to me that they deserved to know what Marilyn already knew. I also realized that I was falling in love with David.

Four months passed and I was working at the shop, which I now owned. The owner had died in Febuary and, after his will was probated, it was found that he had left the shop to me! I was suprised but grateful as well, since it provided my living. That morning, in May as I opened the shop, I heard someone call my name. I looked up and saw Marilyn, with Jason in his stroller, now a sturdy four month old, healthy and laughing however, one look at Marilyn's face told me that all was not well.

I invited her in and we took Jason into the back where Marilyn gave him his bottle. Her eyes were red from weeping and I motioned for her to sit while I poured her a cup of tea from the pot I always kept on the stove. It was jasmine, my father's receipe and I smiled as it calmed her to where she could speak. She looked up at me.

"I know that you haven't seen David for a few months." She said softly. I nodded. "The last time I saw him was at your house when you brought Jason home. Is something wrong?" Marilyn nodded. "Yes, it's David." My heart tightened as I looked at her. "What has happened?" The expression on her face was one of pure misery. "Cathy, David's on drugs."

I looked at her, stunned, David? "How...Who?" I managed to stammer out. "I don't know, He won't talk to me anymore. I do know that he's been stealing money out of my purse and I found out just yesterday that he sold his blue Mustang. Dad brought that car for him when he turned sixteen and now, it's gone. I don't know what to do. I heard from Kermit and he's finally gotten his leave and will be here in a couple of weeks. When he finds out about David, I don't know what he's going to do."

I agreed with her assessment from everything her and David had told me about their older brother. "Marilyn, do you think that he might listen to me?" The look in her eyes tore my heart out." "I hope so, I really do cause, I had to forbid him from coming to the house. I can't have him around Jason, not now." I nodded in understanding.

"I'll find him once I close up for the night and try to talk to him, ok? Does he know that Kermit is coming in?" She shook her head, "No, I haven't told him about that yet. I also haven't told Mom and Dad about David. They don't need that on top of everything else." I agreed with her on that. Finally, she thanked me and left with Jason, heading back to their home.

My mind was on David all that day as I went about the usual business of the shop with the herbs, candles and small flowering plants that I also sold. That evening, after I locked up, I went to the park to walk around. Making my way around the outer perimeter, I found David, slumped against a tree, looking like death warmed over. I crouched next to him.

"David, it's me, Cathy, are you all right?" When he looked up at me, I was shocked by how hollow his eyes seemed. They weren't sparkling or laughing now, they were cold, dull and almost lifeless. "David, can you walk?" I asked him. He nodded and I helped him up then, we went to my house which wasn't that far away. Once we were inside, I sat him onto the futon I had in the living room. He stretched out and more or less passed out. I removed his shirt and saw his arms. I wanted to cry, there were needle tracks on both.

I wasn't sure what to do and I went to my meditation room and looked at the photos I had placed there, Mom, Dad, Peter and the only one I had of my Great Grandfather. "What can I do? How can I help him?" I asked softly. I heard a soft voice in my mind, "Be his friend, my great grand-daughter. That is what he needs now, more than anything else. I know how you feel about him. Be there for him." I smiled as the presence faded and I went back and covered David with a blanket. I then went to my telephone and called Marilyn to tell her where David was and that he was safe.

After I hung up, I looked back at him and sat down near the futon. I stayed there, meditating all night. In the morning, I heard movement and opened my eyes to see David sitting up, his face in his hands. "Good morning." I said softly. His head snapped up and the look I saw in his eyes was fear. "David, you're safe here, you're in my home. I brought you here yesterday, remember?" He looked at me for a moment and then managed a small smile. "Yeah, I do remember." He then looked at his bare arms and looked back at me. I nodded. "Marilyn came to me yesterday and told me. David, why? How did you start?"

He leaned back against the futon and sighed. "I'm not really sure, Cath. One of the older boys brought some to school a few months back and we all tried it. I found I needed more and I finally had to sell my car to pay off what I owed the dealer." He ducked his head and I saw a crimson flush appear on his neck and spread upwards. "I also stole money from my sister. I am so ashamed of myself but, I tried to quit before and I just can't."

I sat on the futon beside him and pulled his head onto my shoulder. "David, Marilyn also wanted me to tell you that Kermit will be home in a couple of weeks. He got his emergency leave." I felt David stiffen, shudder and then relax. I saw the corner of his mouth curl up in a slight smile. "At least Dad will be pleased. Has sis told them about me?" I grinned. "No, David, she hasn't told them." He nodded. "That's good. Cathy, can you help me?" I looked down at him.

"If you really want me to, then, yes, I can but, I cannot do everything for you, you do understand that." David sat up and looked directly into my eyes. I saw some of that old sparkle returning to his green eyes. I smiled and went to make tea. This was a special blend that I had prepared back at the shop once Marilyn had told me what had happened. I handed the steaming mug to David. He took a sip and raised his eyebrows.

"This is good, your concotion?" I nodded. "I have a two pound jar ready for you but, you have to drink one mug twice a day. It will supress the drug cravings, not take them away completely but only if you use it as directed. Promise me? You can drink one mug in the morning and one in the evening and stay away from the drugs, please? I know the chemical composition of that stuff and nothing about it is healthy.'

David nodded, "I understand and I will do as you ask, Cath. You're important to me, as a friend. I'll do it." I nodded. "Good, then, once you finish that, go head and use the shower and I'll walk you home, ok?" He nodded and soon I heard him singing in the shower. I smiled as I put together some fresh clothes for him and made breakfast, tea and fruit.

I heard him a few minutes later whisteling as he dried off and put on the clothes I had gotten him. He came into the kitchen a few minutes later looking better. As I put the breakfast out onto the table, I saw him look at my morning mail. He picked up one thick envelope and then look at me. "A college application?" I nodded and gestured for him to sit down. I did as well. "Yes, I'm applying to a junior college to expand on my herbalism studies. I found one near here so that I could walk to classes and keep the shop going. Do you think it is a good idea?"

David picked up one of the mango squares and popped it into his mouth. He then nodded. "Yeah, I do feel like it's a good idea, especially if it's something you really want to do." I smiled as he picked up a piece of cantaloupe. "What about you, David, should you go back to your old high school next year?"

End Entry


	9. Chapter 9

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART NINE

by

BlackFury

January 1981 continued

David turned thoughtful as he ate some more of the fruit I had on the table. "I don't know, Cath. I mean, I only have one year left but, I'm afraid that if I go back, I'll fall into that same trap and I really don't want that. Breaking this addiction is going to be hard and painful. I really want to get off of this stuff. I hate what I've put my family and my real friends through. Will you go to Marilyn's with me?" His eyes were looking at me almost with a puppy dog look in them.

I smiled, "Of course I'll go with you, David. You were my first friend when I arrived here in town." David smiled again. "Good, I like it that you're my friend, you I can talk to." I nodded and we finished breakfast. A few moments later we left, David carrying the jar of tea mix I had made for him.

We walked to Marilyn's and she was evidently watching from the window because, as we came up the walk, she flung open the front door and threw her arms around David's neck, hugging him tightly. I rescued the jar of tea as he held his sister and then we all went inside. Once in, I told Marilyn about the tea mix and what it was for.

She nodded and looked at her brother, taking in the weight lost, the tremors that went through him at different times, the pallor of his skin. David looked at her and smiled gently, "I know, sis, I know. I really want to crack this. Can you help me?"

Marilyn smiled and nodded. "I found a rehab clinic not too far from here and they are willing to take you in, if you agree to stick to the program to the end. They also have a high school so you can finish and graduate on time. Does that sound ok to you?"

David's face lit up. "Yeah, sis, it does. Maybe I can get all of this done before Kermit gets home but, he's still going to rake me over the coals when he hears about all of this." His expression was half fearful and I got the impression that he went in awe of his older brother.

I smiled as I rose to my feet. I knew it was time for me to let them talk alone and I told them I would be at the shop if they wanted to see me. David hugged me and kissed my cheek and Marilyn waved as I went out the door.

I prayed to the Tao that David would beat this and go back to being the brash, self confident young man I had met over a year earlier when I first came to this city.

As I opened the shop and greeted my first clients of the day, the routine kept me busy and I didn't think about David again until lunch. As I ate, I searched my heart and realized that I had, indeed, fallen in love with him and, I thought he felt the same, however, he had his life to get back first and, if after that, he sought me out, well and good but, if I was to go on my path alone, then, that would be as the Tao willed.

I wanted him to be happy and safe. I returned to the shop to finish the day. After I closed up, I walked to the junior college and talked to the registar about the classes I was interested in. When I left, I had my schedule for classes three days a week.

I arrived home and meditated, wonder if Father would have been proud of me and what I was doing with my life. I hoped that he would have been but, I would never know so, I went to my garden to work there until sunset.

End Entry


	10. Chapter 10

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART TEN

by

BlackFury

June 1981

The past few months have been very full as I work the shop and take the herbalism courses at the local junior college. I haven't seen much of Marilyn or David, not since the night they invited me to dinner to meet their older brother, Kermit.

It turned out to be an interesting night since, somehow, Marilyn had found out that the day Kermit came home was also my birthday. It was hard for me to celebrate birthdays without my twin brother, I always, instinctively, looked around for him and found nothing, no spark, no trace of his essence, nothing.

That night, David came by the house to pick me up, having gotten his blue mustang back. He was quiet as I climbed into the car. There was a continued silence as we drove to his sister's home. I then asked him if Kermit had been to the hospital and David smiled. "Yeah, as soon as he got off the plane, he took a taxi to the hospital to see Dad and Mom... He didn't even change out of his battle fatigues. Dad was so glad to see him. I find myself hoping that now..." His voice trailed off as we pulled up in Marilyn's driveway.

I looked at David as we got out. "I know, my friend, I know but, he can't last much longer, can he?" David shook his head. We were silent as we went up the front walk, I knew exactly how David felt about losing his father. It was a feeling I was all too familiar with.

Marilyn opened the front door and smiled on seeing me. David went upstairs to get Kermit as Marilyn and I moved into the living room. She looked at me. "You look like you have something on your mind." I nodded. "Yes, I have decided to tell both David and Kermit the truth about myself, especially considering today." Marilyn nodded. "You mean the fact that, legally, you turn sixteen today?" I looked at her and then smiled. "Yes, I'm legal age now, at least, in Missouri. They deserve to know, David especially."

Marilyn looked at me for a moment then, her smile softened. "You're in love with David, aren't you?" I nodded, not wanting to hide it any longer. "Yes, I have been for awhile now but, with everything that has been going on, I thought it best to keep it to myself. Does Kermit know about David being in rehab?"

Marilyn nodded, "Yes, he and David had a long talk once Kermit came in from the hospital and I think they reached an understanding, at least, they didn't yell at each other. That's an improvement." I nodded and soon, we heard the two brothers come down the stairs.

My first impression of Kermit Griffin was good, overall. He was dressed casually, in jeans and a pullover. The green sunglasses seemed out of place but also seemed to be a part of him. The dark hair, cropped short in a military fashion, showed a small spot of white over his left eye. He was quiet, taciturn and overall Kermit. He said hello after Marilyn introduced me to him and we walked to the dining table.

I was suprised to see that Marilyn's husband and young Jason weren't there. Marilyn smiled, "Robert thought it would be best to let us have this time to ourselves. He took Jason to see Mom and Dad in the hospice." Kermit managed a small smile. I looked at him, "Has David or Marilyn written to you about me?"

He nodded, "Yeah, they have. Mind telling me about yourself?" I was slightly caught by suprise but, the Tao had given me the opening I needed. I grinned, "Yes, I would but, you may find it a little confusing."

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then, I began my story, from the time my family and I had moved to the Temple up until now.

End Entry


	11. Chapter 11

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART ELEVEN

by

BlackFury

June 1981

It was almost ten pm when I finished telling both Kermit and David the whole story, including my actual age. Both of them looked at Marilyn when I told them she had known the truth all along. She smiled and let me continue until I was done. I then looked at David. "You understand why I couldn't say anything till now?" David's response suprised me. He got to his feet, pulled me to him and kissed me, leaving no doubts as to how he felt about me. After we seperated, David looked down at me and smiled. "I have something to tell both you and Marilyn. Kermit and I talked and, I know what I want to do with my life now. I'm going to be a cop."

I looked at him and smiled. "You're sure that you want to do this? It is a very dangerous profession." David looked at me and nodded. "I know but, if I can stop one family from going through what I put mine through, it will be worth it." I nodded and watched Marilyn as she embraced her youngest brother. "You will be careful. Paul going to help?"

Kermit spoke up then. "Yes, I already call him and he'll talk to the Police Comissioner in Miami, Florida.' Marilyn and I looked at each other, then, I looked at David. "Miami?" David nodded. "Paul thought that it would be best to go somewhere no one's ever heard of me. That won't be too hard on you, will it, Cathy?" He asked, still using the name he first met me using. I smiled up at him, "No, I don't mind, just as long as I can go with you."

David postively beamed on that reply and we began making wedding plans. Merging together his religious beliefs and mine was not all that easy but, we found a catholic priest willing to give it a try and set the date for next year, two months before David would enter the Miami Florida police academy.

Later, he drove me home and we parted at the door. I watched him go then, went into my meditation room and sat down. My life was changing more that I had ever believed possible and soon, I would be a wife and, I hoped, a mother as well. I had to find someone to manage the herbal shop, that is, if I didn't decide to sell it all together. I wasn't about to sell the house. I knew that Marilyn or Kermit would take care of it for me.

I looked at the pictures in front of the Buddha statue David had given me. I so wished that my family was here but, if they were, I never would have met David in the first place. Old Ping Hai had been right, The Tao always made good come out of bad. Out of the ruins of my life, I found the love of my life and soon, another phase of my life would begin.

As I extinguished the candles, I looked at my parent's wedding picture. "I can only hope that David and I will be as happy as you always were. I miss all of you." I then headed to my bed and dreams of the life that was coming for me and the man I loved.

End Entry


	12. Chapter 12

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART TWELVE

by

BlackFury

August 1982

It's hard to believe as I look around this apartment that I'm finally Mrs. David Griffin. We moved here to Miami Florida last month, not long after our quiet wedding at Marilyn's home in St Louis. The wedding was small for two reasons, one, that's what David and I wanted and, secondly, David's father had finally succumbed to his illness a month earlier. By that time, I had met him and David's mother and they both gave us their blessing.

I knew that David would miss his father and I comforted him as best I could, knowing how he felt. We had talked things over and decided that Marilyn would rent out my home for me and I found someone to manage the herbal shop for me so I wouldn't have to sell it right then.

Finding a wedding dress wasn't all that hard and, the Catholic priest David and I had talked to had found a way to merge a catholic ceremony with a Shaolin one so, that worked out fine. One thing I had decided was to use my real name on the marriage license. David and I had talked it over and I decided it was time to reclaim my real identity as Laura Leann Caine.

Changing over everything wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and so, I became me again. I explained to David and Kermit about Master Dao. Kermit told me he would tell his mercenary friends and they would keep an eye out for the man. I had the feeling that Kermit would do whatever he had to to protect me now that I was family.

Thanks to Kermit's friend, Paul Blaisdell, (who I finally got to meet!) David was accepted into the Miami Police Academy. I was so proud of him at his graduation, he looked so handsome and then, I had news for him. Over dinner that night, I told him I was expecting our first child. The look on his face was glorious then, he hugged me, tightly. Everything was so perfect and so right, I should have known it wouldn't stay that way.

But, right then, I was so happy that I didn't think about the inherent dangers in David becoming an undercover narcotics cop. During our wedding reception, David brought Paul Blaisdell over to meet me. I looked up at the tall, lean man with silvered hair and liked what I saw and sensed within him. He told me about his wife and I stopped, "You're Annie's husband?" I asked. Paul looked suprised, "Yes, how did you know?" I smiled. "I met her several years ago on the train out of California, when I started my journey." Paul nodded, "You're the one she told me about meeting. She'll be happy to know that you're ok. She wonders about you sometimes."

I leaned against David. "Tell her I'm fine and , maybe, we will meet again, if the Tao wills it." Paul nodded and moved away. David looked down at me. "Are you ok?" I nodded, "I'm fine, love, just a little tired." It wasn't long after that that David and I left for Florida and whatever life had in store for us. I just didn't know that the move and subsequent events would almost tear us apart.

End Journal Entry


	13. Chapter 13

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART THIRTEEN

by

BlackFury

September-December 1982

Well, we're settled in our new apartment in Miami. Of course, there aren't too many places where you cannot see the ocean. Four days later, David started at the Miami Dade Police Academy. He is very happy with what he is doing and has already put in for training as a narcotics officer. I asked him about that the other night. His face grew serious as he answered my question.

"If I can stop one kid from going through what I did, it's all worth it, Lee-Lee." I understood what he meant and, I couldn't really argue with it, even though I had this feeling of forboding that I couldn't shake off.

November 12 was a red letter day for us, David graduated from the Academy at the top of his class. Kermit was there but, Marilyn couldn't come. She had given birth to her daughter, Michelle, known as Mitch, one week previously. To my suprise, Paul Blaisdell was there as well. Kermit had brought a film camera to record the ceremony for Marilyn to watch later.

A couple of days later, David began his job as a beat cop. He advanced through the ranks quickly and in December, came home with his face shining. "Lee-Lee, I made Detective! I start with the Narcotics division on Monday." I smiled, I had news of my own. "David, my love, I'm pregnant."

I'll never forget his reaction. His jaw dropped open and then, he swept me up into his arms and swung me around, kissing me the whole time. Once he set me back onto the floor, I smiled. "You see, now you have two reasons to stay safe." Little did I know then that, in another ten months, I would face the possibility of losing the love of my life, forever.

Right then, however, we were planning our future, and the future of our forthcoming child. I hoped to have others in a long lifetime and so did David but, in one fell swoop, we were to learn one of life's harshest lessons, never plan the future when you have no idea what is to come.

I wonder, if we had known what was coming, would we have packed up and gone back to St. Louis? I don't know, some things you just cannot predict or plan for. The strangest thing was that, out of what was going to happen, would come one of the greatest joys of my life. If we had left, it probably would have never happened.

Funny the way things work out sometimes, isn't it?

Well, David left the following Monday to begin his orientation as a narcotics detective and I went for the first in a series of pre natal check ups. i wanted to be sure that our first born would be healthy. The doctor, a Maria Melendez, noticed that I was looking a little depressed and asked me what was wrong. I told her about losing my father and brother and how I had wished that they could be here for this. She nodded. "It's not unusual to feel that way, Leann," she said, "The trick is in not letting it take over your life."

I remember telling her that I wouldn't let that happen to me and David. She smiled, made sure I had my prescriptions and saw me out. I returned to our apartment and found a message from David that he would be home late. I smiled. It was then I began to realize that David's work would sometimes take first place.

A few days later, David came home and looked solemn. I asked him what was going on and he looked at me. "Lee-Lee, I'm thinking about going undercover." My feelings must have shown on my face cause he pulled me to him and held me tightly. "I know, it's dangerous but, it may be necessary, you do understand that, don't you?"

I looked into his eyes and nodded, "I know, my love, I know. Just remember that you have two reasons to come home." David smiled and laid his hand on my abdomen. "I know love," He smiled and we went to bed.

A couple of weeks later, David started buying things for the baby. We didn't care if we had a boy or a girl, as long as it was healthy so, David bought two of everything, in both pink and blue. Thanks to some of his new friends at the precinct, we soon had the nursery done with crib, changing table, chest of drawers and a beauitful rocking chair. I was amazed at how happy David was about the baby but, it pleased me as well.

One evening, well into my third month, David found me sittng staring out a window with a pensive look on my face. he sat on the window seat behind me, pulling me back against him. "What is it, Lee-Lee?" I smiled and sniffled a little bit. "I was thinking about how happy Dad and Peter would be for me right now but, they're not going to be here and, that hurts." Davind hugged me, "I know, love, I know. I wish Dad was still around as well but, we don't always get what we want, do we?"

I remember nodding. "I know, love but, to think that our children will never know my Dad's wisdom and gentleness hurts. Maybe I can tell them about him but, it won't be the same." David said nothing, he just held me as we watched the sunset over the ocean then, finally, he carried me to bed so I could rest.

End Entry


	14. Chapter 14

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART FOURTEEN

by

BlackFury

July 1983

I laid back in the hospital bed and sighed. Our son, Micheal Paul Griffin, had been born the day before. I remembered when I went into labor, I called the precinct. David had been out on a call and his Captain told me he would personally make sure David got to the hospital in time. Four hours later, I was in the delivery room when David rushed in, gowned and ready. Suprisingly, it didn't take too long for Micheal Paul Griffin to make his entrance into this world.

Our littel boy had a fuzz of dark hair and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, he was so beautiful. Needless to say, David was over the moon with happiness. He called Marilyn and then Kermit to tell them then, he came into my room with a huge bouquet of roses, deep red ones and, after putting them in a vase, he kissed my forhead. "You okay, beautiful?" He asked me in a soft tone of voice. I remember smiling up at him, "Yeah, I'm ok, just a little tired. They don't call it labor for nothing, you know."

David had completed his first undercover assignment successfully, with several arrests and he was looking forward to his next one but, he told me it probably wouldn't happen for several months. I was secretly relived to hear that as I wanted him with me and our new son. David stayed as they brought Micheal in for me to feed him and, as I breast fed our son, I heard David playfully growl, "Hey, that's my playground!" He smiled at me and we talked quietly about what to do when we brought him home.

That momentous event happened three days later. I was suprised when, as I walked back into oyr apartment, to see both Marilyn and Kermit standing there! David was grinning like a chesire cat and, later, I found out why. Marilyn and Kermit had flown in two days ago and had been getting the apartment ready. It was then that I noticed that we were in a different apartment, in fact, it qualifed as a condo. Seems that was big brother Kermit's idea. He had bought and paid for it and had established a household trust to pay all of the bills automatically so that David and I could concentrate on our child.

The big suprise was when Kermit showed me a small room where I could continue my herbal studies and could also continue to make remedies. I was making a small living providing herbal concotions and medicines for people, especially those in Miami's Chinatown. Kermit told me that he wanted to be sure I could carry on my family's work and for that, I was very grateful.

David had been given a week off by his Captain and we spent every waking hour together as a family. He was reluctant to go back to work but, he did, with many promises to be careful, now that he had us both. I watched him leave that morning and prayed to the Tao to keep him safe from harm. I spent my days taking care of Micheal and continuing my apothecary work.

One thing I had done was apply for an apothecary license, which I had been granted not long after we had moved in Miami. It pleased me to think that I was, as Kermit had said, carrying on my family's work. I so wished that my Father was there to be proud of me but, I knew, somehow, that he was and, as I watched my sleeping son, I saw some of Peter in him and, it comforted me somehow.

I would need that comfort in the days ahead cause, we would face the greatest test of our marriage and I would have to face the real possibility of going on alone as a single mother. It is not a time I like remembering but out of it, would come one of the greatest joys of my life. The Tao certainly works in mysterious ways, as old Ping Hai used to tell me. It's weird, sometimes I feel as if he is somehow here, with me but, that's not possible, is it?

End Journal Entry


	15. Chapter 15

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART FIFTEEN

by

BlackFury

Febuary 1984

Micheal was seven months old yesterday and David and I decided to have a small party to celebrate. It was fun, baking the small cake and getting the party hats and presents. I'll swear that little Micheal knew exactly what was going on. His eyes were wide and he laughed at his father's antics. I sat back and smiled, watching David as he sang to our small son, holding him in his arms as he walked around our living room.

It was such a fun and loving day. The glow stayed with me long after David went back to work. I still had a nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right but, I knew that if David wanted to talk to me about it, that he would. he knew that I would listen to him whenever he wanted to talk.

He was gaining commendations for his work in the Narcotics division, proving just how good of a cop he was. He had done several small undercover assignments successfully and so far, had been in no real danger but, he looked at me one evening and smiled sadly. I asked him what was wrong and, he came over and held me.

"I know my luck can't hold out forever, Lee-Lee and, if that day ever comes, promise me you won't become a basket case. Just know that, if it happens, that I died doing what I could to stop these criminals. Ok?" He pulled back slightly so he could look into my eyes. My eyes were sparkling a little and then I smiled.

"David, I am very, very proud of you but know one thing, if anything ever does happen and there is the slightest chance of you living, I will move heaven and earth to keep you here, with us. We need you, my love, you know that, especially now.

David looked at me curiously, "What do you mean by that, Lee-Lee?"

I smiled, "I pregnant again, my love."

David stared at me for about ten seconds then, he let out a loud whoop and spun me around, kissing me soundly. He then looked at me, "How long have you known?"

I grinned, "I only found out for certain this morning, when I went to the doctor for a check up but, I've had the idea that I was for about a month now. I didn't say anything because I wanted to be sure this time."

I went silent and David just held me. Both of us were remembering the day, six months earlier when I had been pregnant but, for some reason I still don't understand, I had miscarried three weeks after we had found out I was expecting. It had hurt, feeling that little life fade away, forever wondering what he/she would have grown up to be.

Now, however, we were going to have another child and I so hoped that this one would be a girl. David's face was still shining the next morning when he went back to the precinct. Later that day, he called me.

"Lee-Lee, would you mind if I bring my partner home for dinner tonight? I'd like for you and Raven to get acquainted with each other. Is that all right with you?" I remembered smiling.

"Of course, my love. I would like to meet her. I'll have dinner ready about eight o'clock, all right?" I could hear David grinning as he said that would be fine and we hung up. I decided to cook a traditional Chinese dinner. I knew David loved my cooking and, hopefully, his partner, Raven Corday, would like it as well.

Later that night, I was cleaning up the kitchen, David was playing with Micheal and Raven had gone home. I liked that dark haired detective that was my husband's colleague. Her manner was quiet and earnest. She was obviously devoted to her job and she promised me she would keep an eye on David for me. She was engaged to an officer in another precinct and she was definitely in love with the man.

I put the last dish away and came into the living room. David was in the recliner with Micheal asleep on his chest. I smiled and snapped a couple of photos for the family album and the baby book. Then, I gently picked up our son and placed him in his crib. I spread a blanket over my sleeping husband and left him in the recliner. I decided to sleep on the sofa nearby and soon, all was quiet.

End Journal Entry


	16. Chapter 16

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART SIXTEEN

by

BlackFury

October-December 1984

I've been home for a week now after giving birth to mine and David's daughter, Raven Marie. I remember David asking me if we could name our girl after his partner and I agreed, I loved the name and Marie had been my grandmother's name on my mother's side. Two months before our daughter was born, Raven Corday had asked me to be her Matron of Honor when she married her fiancee, Robert Marshall, a Homicide detective at the 54th precinct. David was Robert's Best Man. It was a lovely wedding.

Little Raven is asleep now and Micheal, sixteen months old, was in preschool. He was enjoying meeting new friends and trying to teach then Chinese, which I had taught David and we used it alot at home. David is on another undercover assignment now and I don't know how long he will be gone. Sometimes, I really worry about him, he can be reckless, especially when he is on the scent, as he puts it.

I just don't know what I and the children would do if we lost him. Raven was able to help me find a support group of police wives and being able to talk to them has helped tremendously. They all have the same fears and worries for their husbands as I do. I just hope David remembers the three reasons he has to keep safe now.

I don't want him to stop being him, you understand. I know why he wants to do this but, sometimes, his intensity frightens me. He reminds me of Peter in some ways, his devotion to his friends, his sense of Justice and feelings of what is right and what is wrong, his protective nature.

David and I have come a long way from that day he found me at the outdoor cafe in St. Louis. I love him so much, I wonder if this is how Mom and Dad felt about each other. I remember the day I finally sat down with David and told him everything, the temple, losing Mom, the lessons, and then, that horrible night my whole world caved in. I started crying as I talked and David just held me, letting me cry, something I really hadn't done since the destruction.

It felt good to get it out of my system. David stroked my hair. "It must have been hard on you," he said softly, "When you found out that your Father and Peter were dead. That had to be difficult to absorb." I nodded, "Yeah, it was. Father had been my anchor and Peter, Peter had been my only real friend. Losing both of them at once almost shattered me." David pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head.

Raven Marie's crying brought out of my trance and I dealt with her little problems. After feeding her, I put her back in her crib. Micheal was brought home an hour later and he was chattering away in Chinese, telling me all about his day. When he asked me if "Baba coming home?" I had to tell him I didn't know. I explained that sometimes, Baba's work was difficult and he couldn't always come home at the same time. Micheal nodded his little head and went to play with his toys.

As I watched the clock, I prayed to the Tao that the day would never come when I would have to tell my children that their father was never coming home. I prayed that day would never come. Getting shot, being in the hospital a long time, those I believed I could handle but, losing David, I really didn't believe that I would be able to survive it if it came.

I was immeasurably relieved when, at 9:30 that night, David's key turned in the lock and he walked in, tired but, this time, unhurt. I remember flying into his arms and just being held. He smiled, "You missed me?" I managed a weak chuckle, "I always miss you, love, besides, Micheal wanted to know when 'Baba was coming home.' We all missed you." David squeezed me once before releasing me and we walked into the bedroom.

The children were asleep and, as David changed, he told me about his day, how they had finally arrested the dealer they had been after but, something in David's manner was strained, different. I asked him about it and he looked at me as he sat on the bed. I had the feeling things were about to take a different turn. I didn't know just how right I was.

End Journal Entry


	17. Chapter 17

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART SEVENTEEN

by

BlackFury

October-December 1984

As David sat on our bed, he looked at me. "Lee-Lee, I know that you're not going to like this." I looked up and said, "I already don't like it but, what is it?" He reached over and took both of my hands in his. Then, his blue eyes looked into mine. "We finally have a chance to go after the top man, a guy named Douglas Larson. We have an opening and I'm going undercover in two weeks."

I must have looked as stunned as I felt cause David pulled me into an embrace. "My sweet Lee-Lee, can you understand what this means to the department? To finally bring him down after all of this time?"

I remember finally finding my voice, "But does it have to be you?" David smiled. "Actually, yes cause I'm the only officer in the division with the necessary past." I looked up and nodded. "Of course, your past drug use." David nodded.

"Yup. Seems that's going to be useful to me after all. Former doper going back to his old ways, turning into a bad cop, you get the idea?" I nodded, "But, in this mew identity, where do I and the kids fit in, or do we?" David's face dropped, "I know Lee-Lee but, it's to keep you and the kids safe, you know that so, you won't appear in my new background, you understand?"

I nodded, "Yes, I understand David. I just want you to be careful, we want you to come home, alive, you understand that, right?"

David nodded, "I knew you would. I hate doing this to you my love but, we have to bring Larson down and If this is the only way to do this, we have to." I nodded. "David, I know you but, Larson is really dangerous, from what the papers say about him. You will be careful?"

David hugged me, "You know it, Lee-Lee. There is one thing, I want to make certain arrangements, just in case something does go wrong, you understand?" I nodded again. I knew how true that statrement could be.

David pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his wallet and passed it to me. "Keep this in a safe place, Lee-Lee. It's my brother Kermit's private phone number. No matter where he is, you can reach him by this if something does go wrong. He'll take care of you and the kids and Larson, if he has to."

I smiled, "I know Kermit and yes, I'll keep this in a safe place. I hope I don't have to use it, you know." I remember smiling sadly.

David and I laid back in the bed and he held me. "I know, love but, I wanted to make sure I had everything in place just to be on the safe side. I don't want you and the kids to be left unprotected. I have also left a letter with Raven to be sent to Kermit if anything does go wrong, ok?"

I snuggled into his shoulder as he stroked my hair, knowing he had taken every precaution there was. Now, I was looking towards Christmas without him home and that hurt, it hurt alot.

I wasn;t sure how I was going to handle this particular assignment and I desperately wished Father and Peter were here with me but, again, I would have to face this, not totally alone but, almost.

End Journal Entry.


	18. Chapter 18

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART EIGHTEEN

by

BlackFury

February-May 1985

It's been one month and I'm sitting here next to David's hospital bed. He's still in a coma and the doctor's still don't know if he'll ever wake up. The children are at home, Kermit brought Marilyn down to take care of them for me. He also brought someone else, some one I had never, ever expected to see again so, some good came out of this after all.

I remember Raven coming to the apartment five weeks ago. I was happy to see her, until I saw her eyes. "Something's wrong, isn't it? It's David." Raven stepped inside and nodded. "We haven't heard from him in two weeks. We just found out we have a mole in the deparment and we're afraid that David has been made. If that's true..."

Her voice trailed off and I was in shock. "David could be killed and if Larson knows his history, it will be even worse. He'll turn David back into a junkie." I remember feeling a hard core of determination rising in me, that I was not going to lose my husband, not this way and definitely not to a loser the likes of Douglas Larson.

After Raven left, I found that piece of paper and dialed the number. Kermit answered on the first ring. "Kermit, it's Leann. David is in trouble. I need you here and I need someone to watch the children."

I remember the change in Kermit's voice, it was hard, cold and, it frightened me. "Ok, I'll take the first flight out. I'll bring Marilyn and a friend, if you don't mind."

I remember smiling, "Any friend of yours is more than welcome." I could hear Kermit smile. "We'll be there soon, sis, ok? Hold on." My voice sounded tired, even to me, "I will, Kermit, I will. I have to." We hung up and I sat down, trying desperately not to cry.

I got up and began making lunch cause Micheal was coming home soon and I didn't want him to see me like this. Raven was still down for her nap so, I had some time to myself as I worked. I cried, a little but more than anything else, I was angry, angry at Douglas Larson, angry at life and, strangely enough, angry at David for taking this assignment in the first place.

I looked at the clock on the wall and I dialed Raven. "Kermit's coming in with Marilyn and a friend of his. could you meet them at the airport?" She said she would and I hung up. I then went into my workroom and began to create the mixture I had made for David all those years ago, back in St Louis, when he first became addicted. I finished it and stored it in a large stone jar I had found at a jumble sale.

Soon thereafter, Micheal came home. I gave him his lunch and then, he took his nap. I had time to myself again but, it didn't help. I was twenty two now, a wife and mother with two children and suddenly found myself on the verge of possibly losing my husband. I remember thinking how I wished Father was with me but, I knew that was a pipe dream.

I had lost track of time and was startled to hear the doorbell. I went to the door and looked through the security peephole and saw Kermit. I opened the door and flung my self into his arms, crying. He just held me, mummuring softly that it would be all right. I stepped back, trying to smile and then, I saw Marilyn. She smiled and asked me where my children were. I told her and she went to see about them. I hadn't even noticed Kermit's friend until we were back in the apartment.

Something about the tall, sandy haired young man looked familiar but, right then, I was to worried about David. I led both of them into the living room and told Kermit what I knew so far. Kermit listened keenly and just nodded.

"Ok, Lee-Lee, I'll look into it and see if we can find Larson. You concentrate on David, ok?" As I nodded, he turned to the sandy haired young man behind him.

"Peter, you stay with her, ok?" I looked up with a start. Then, I saw the hazel eyes and I knew, somehow, I knew.

"Peter?" It was all I got out because after that, I fainted.

End Journal Entry


	19. Chapter 19

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART NINETEEN

by

BlackFury

February-May 1985

When I came to, I was lying on my sofa and those familiar hazel eyes were looking at me in concern. Then, his face split into the engaging grin I remembered from childhood. I reached up to touch his face, afraid I was dreaming, for some reason but, I touched soft, warm skin.

"Peter, is it really you? You're not dead?" That grin was present again. He reached out and stroked my hair.

"No, little sister, I'm not dead and, obviously, neither are you. What happened?" I sat up and looked at him.

"I heard the explosions and then..." I told him about the tunnel I had found and that was how I had escaped from the temple. I looked at him.

"How did you...?" He smiled.

"Ping Hai pulled me out. I ended up at PineRidge Orphanage until Paul Blaisdell came there for a lecture. I ended up being fostered to him and Annie. I've had a good home."

I nodded. Then, I told him about leaving California and going to St Louis, finding the old family home and meeting David. Then, I asked the question I had been holding back.

"Peter, what about Father?" Peter dropped his head and I understood.

"He didn't make it, did he?" Peter shook his head slowly and I just hugged him. It felt good to have my brother's arms around me again. Then, I started crying, for David, wherever he was.

At that time, the phone rang and Kermit answered. I could tell from the look on his face that it wasn't good. he listened and hung up then, looked over at me.

"That was David's partner, Raven. David was found at the pier, unconscious and suffering from a massive overdose. He's been taken to Miami-Dade Hospital. Leann, he's in a coma." I nodded.

"Take me to him." Kermit nodded and he and Peter went with me, Marilyn staying at the condo with the kids.

It took an hour to get there and I went immediately to the doctor in charge, Dr. Micheal Talbot.

"I'm David Griffin's wife. Please, tell me how bad my husband is." He sat me down and told me everything, how they weren't sure that David would ever come out of his coma or if he would even survive the night. The overdose had been massive, intended to kill. I thanked him for his honesty and went to the room they had placed David in.

I looked at him, lying in that bed, looking so small and frail. I walked over and took one limp hand in mine and sat on the edge of the bed. I lifted his hand and laid it against my cheek.

"I'm here, my love. I'll be here for you, just like I promised when we got married. I won't leave you, David, I love you."

I looked around and saw Peter standing in the doorway. He got a chair and placed it next to the bed so I could sit in it. I did, with a smile for him and he laid one hand on my shoulder.

"Sis, he'll be all right as long as you're here, you know that, don't you?" I half smiled and laid my hand on his.

"I know, Peter but, if Dad were here..." Peter just squeezed my shoulder in understanding. Then, I had an idea.

"Peter, I need you to go back to the apartment and get something for me, ok?" Peter crouched down beside me and looked into my eyes.

"What do you need sis, you been keeping up your apothecary work?" He grinned at me and I smiled back.

"Yes, I have, in fact, I now have an apothecary's license. In my workroom at home is a large stone jar on the main bench. I need you to bring it to me, please?" Peter nodded and left quickly. I didn't know if the mixture I had used all those years ago would still work for David but, it was the only option I had right now.

I looked at my beloved husband and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"You're not leaving me without a fight, David, you do know that, don't you?" I looked at him, tears in my eyes, wanting him to wake up, to look at me, smile at me, let me know he was still in there, somewhere.

End Journal Entry


	20. Chapter 20

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART TWENTY

by

BlackFury

February-April 1985

It didn't take Peter long to return with the jar I had asked for. He brought it into the room and handed it to me. I smiled.

"I'm just sorry you have to meet David like this. However, once he wakes up, I'll properly introduce you to him. "

Peter nodded and his eyes were questioning as I set the jar on the bedside table.

"I made this for David back when he was first addicted to the stuff. It helped him break the habit and I'm hoping that it will do it again. I need to tell his Doctor about it. Did you check on your niece and nephew?"

Peter grinned, "Yeah, I did and they took to "Unca Petey" immediately. Micheal is very energetic and Raven is going to be a real charmer. Sis," he said, tilting my chin up to look at him, "He will be alright, we both know that. We won't let him go."

I nodded, "I have no intentions of letting him go, I love him too much. Peter," I looked up into those hazel eyes, "What would I do if I did lose him?" My voice must have betrayed my fear cause Peter just pulled me up into his arms and held me.

"Sis, one, you are not going to lose him and, two, if something happens, you aren't alone anymore, ok? I'm here. You'll be all right." I nodded and wiped my eyes then sat back down.

About then, Doctor Talbot walked in and I told him about the contents of the stone jar. His eyes were thoughtful and he nodded.

"There is a possibility, Mrs Griffin, that we could give him the mixture in an IV. Frankly, there really isn't anything to lose by trying it. I'll get you the bag to put the mixture in and then, we'll begin and see how it helps him. I'll be right back." He headed out and I turned to Peter.

"Peter, get me the pitcher out of the bathroom and fill it with hot water till it's about three quarters full, ok?"

He did and returned with the pitcher. I set it on the tray table and opened the stone jar. After mixing the right amount herbs in the hot and letting them steep, Dr. Talbot returned with the IV bag and tubing. I then strained the herbs out and poured the tea into the bag. Then, Dr. Talbot hung the bag and inserted the needle into the back of David's right hand.

He then continued his rounds and I sat back down, Peter staying near me. I watched David's face and I'll swear he began to relax. I laid my hand on his arm.

"I'm here, love, I won't leave you. When I go back home, it will be with you. The kids miss you too. Marilyn is with them. I think I know where Kermit went and you know how he is. I love you, David." I kissed him and smoothed back his dusky yellow hair.

All I could do now was sit back and wait, to see if my husband would come back to me and our children.

End Journal Entry


	21. Chapter 21

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART TWENTY ONE

by

BlackFury

February-April 1985

April 10th

It had been three days since I had mixed the herbs and hung the IV bag for David. Peter was standing with his back against the wall and Kermit was sitting in the other chair opposite me next to David's bed. All we could do now was wait since the doctors had done all they could do.

They had pumped his stomach as best they could but, they could only do so much. David had been sleeping better since I had hung the bag and I was praying to the Tao that it would work like it had before.

Kermit had been muttering all sorts of imprications about what he was going to do to Larson once he found the man and I knew, from what David had told me, that when Kermit was like this, don't try to talk him out of it, it would do no good so, I let him mutter.

I was holding David's hand in mine when I felt a slight squeeze and I looked, those incredible green eyes were open, looking right at me. "David?" I whispered. I saw his slight smile, "Hey, beautiful," he managed to whisper. I smiled at him, "You'll be ok now." I turned to Peter who was already out the door to get the doctor.

He came back with him in short order and Doctor Lansing checked David over and then smiled, a genuine smile. He looked at me. "Well, Mrs Griffin, It seems your concoction is working. Your husband looks like he's going to make a complete recovery." He then left after patting my shoulder.

"David," I said, "Kermit is here." David turned his head to look and smiled, "Hey, big bro, Knew you'd come." Kermit's voice was gruff, "Where else would I be? Came as soon as your wife called me." David nodded, "Knew you would." Then David looked at me again, "The kids?" I smiled, "Marilyn came with Kermit, she's with the kids at our place. They miss you."

David smiled, "I miss them too, hopefully, I can go home soon. Who is this?" He asked , looking up at Peter who was standing behind my chair. I grinned, "David, this is my brother, Peter Caine." David's eyes widened slightly and then looked at me, "Reports of his demise were premature?"

I smiled, "Yes, but, I'll explain it all to you later, that is, what I understand of it all, ok?" David nodded and went back to sleep. I was trying not to cry but, the tears started down my cheeks and Peter's arms encircled me from behind, "It's ok, Sis, you deserve a good cry after all of this, I'm here, I'm here now."

Peter pulled me back as I cried in relief and joy now. Peter whispered in my ear, "You need to go home, Sis. Your kids need to see you and you need to rest. You won't do your husband much good if you collapse now. Come on, I'll take you home."

I looked at Kermit, who smiled, something few people gave him credit for doing, and he nodded, "I'll stay here till you come back, don't worry, I won't leave him alone, not now." I nodded, I knew David would be safe with Kermit there so, I let Peter take me home.

When I walked in the door, I was pounced by Micheal and I smiled as I picked up my son. "Mama, home." He said and I smiled, "Yes, Mama's home, baby." I looked up as Marilyn walked in carrying my daughter, Raven, who was sound asleep. I sat down in my chair and Marilyn handed her to me. Then, she sat down as Peter took Micheal into the playroom to talk to him.

I looked at Marilyn, "David woke up." I told her. Her smile was huge. "Good, what did the doctor say?" I smiled, "David's going to make it. Kermit is with him till I get back but, he and Peter insisted I come home for awhile. I needed to see my children and I need to rest."

Marilyn nodded, "They were right. You've running on adrenaline these past few days. I'll get a blanket and then take Raven and put her in her crib." I nodded and leaned back in my recliner. Marilyn brought a blanket and, as I spread it out, she took Raven and placed her in her crib. Soon, I was sound asleep. I hadn't realized how tired I was till then.

End Entry


	22. Chapter 22

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART TWENTY TWO

by

BlackFury

APRIL 1985

April 11-15

I woke up and looked at the clock on the table. It read "2:30 pm" I sat up, rubbing my eyes and looked up as Peter came into the room with a mug of tea and handed it to me. I sipped it and looked at him. "Has the hospital called?" Peter smiled, "No, but Kermit did. He said David was sleeping well and doing a lot better. Marilyn took Micheal to his pre school and Raven is asleep in her crib. Marilyn will be back in a few then, I'll drive you to the hospital. Why don't you shower while I make you some late breakfast, ok?"

I nodded and took a quick shower which made me feel better. When I came out of mine and David's bedroom, Peter had food on the table and I smiled, 'You remembered how to cook, huh?" I asked. Peter grinned, "Yeah, I have my own apartment now so, it's either cook or the local drive thru." I smiled, and we talked for awhile, Peter telling me about what had happened to him after the temple was destroyed.

I listened as he told me about PineRidge Orphanage, what had happened to him there and then being fostered to the Blaisdells. Then, I told him about my life and what I had done since that day. I told him about meeting David and how Marilyn had helped me buy back the family home in St Louis.

Peter whistled, "I remember Dad talking about the old place. It's still intact?" I smiled. "Yes, the original garden is still in the back that Great Grandfather planted. I'll have to show it to you after all of this mess is over. I need to go." Peter nodded, put the dishes in the dishwasher and we headed to the car.

We got to the hospital and I walked into David's room to find him sitting up and eating! I loved seeing him like this. Kermit was leaned back reading the newspaper. "David?" I said. he smiled, "Hello Beautiful." I walked over and kissed him. "It is so good to see you, my love." David smiled, "It's good to see you too, Lee-Lee."

I looked over at Kermit, who folded up his newspaper. "The Doctor was in earlier and was pleased with David's progress. He should be back in about an hour." He rose to his feet, "Peter, let's go out on the terrace, shall we? Paul will want to know how David is." Peter nodded and I watched the two of them leave. I then sat down and took David's hand in mine.

"I was so afraid for awhile, my love." I whispered to him. David smiled as he reached out and caressed my cheek. "I know, Lee-Lee. I was too, so afraid I couldn't say goodbye or that I would ever see you and the children again." I looked at him. "Kermit has been muttering all sorts of imprications of what he's going to do to Larson when he finds him. I hate to think of what he woulod do if you had died."

David pulled me to him, "Kermit would have taken care of you and the kids, Lee-Lee, you know that. But, I'm still here." He looked at me, "Lee-Lee, what would you say to going back home, to St Louis?" I looked at him, "Leave here, you worked so hard to get here." "I know," he said, his eyes dropping, "But, this assignment has shown me just how dangerous this life is and I do not want to put you and the kids through this again."

I looked at him, "David, you worked so hard to turn your life around, to get to this point. Are you going to let Larson take that all away from you now?" He looked at me, startled then, he began to think about it. Finally, he shook his head firmly, "No, I will not let Larson scare me away from being a cop. You're right, if I quit now, he wins and I won't have that."

I smiled as I squeezed his hand, "That's my David," I said, "I knew you wouldn't give up. " He smiled, "How can I after you wouldn't quit on me, love?" I grinned and then, Doctor Lansing walked in and smiled. "Good to see the two of you happy. Well, Detective Griffin, you're going home tomorrow." David looked stunned, "I can go home, tomorrow?" Doctor Lansing smiled, "Yes, between our treatments and your wife's herbs, you are going to be just fine. I'm releasing you in the morning."

He shook David's hand, patted my shoulder and left the room. Peter and Kermit walked in soon after and I told them what the Doctor had said. Kermit grinned wider that I had ever seen before and Peter hugged me. I knew the two of them would have to leave soon, to go back to Carlsburg and I was sad that Peter would have to go. We talked for awhile. I stayed with David that night and Kermit and Peter stayed with us.

End Journal Entry


	23. Chapter 23

JOURNEYS OF LIFE

PART 23

by

BlackFury

APRIL -MAY 1985

It's much better at home now. David has been here for a week. Peter and Kermit stayed as long as they could be, they had to go home and take Marilyn with them. I look at my beloved husband lying on the sofa and am so grateful to the Tao for answering my prayers. David plans to return to the precinct in another week and has already told his Captain that his undercover days are over. I'm glad. I know the danger in being a Homicide Detective but at least with that, I'll know. The not knowing when he was undercover is what almost killed me. Now however, I can live my life with him.

Seeing Peter was definitely a suprise but, it was tinged with sadness knowing that Father wasn't coming back. I miss him so much. I wonder, would he be proud of me, of what I'm doing to carry on the family tradition? I asked David what he thought about taking the kids to St Louis this Christmas to see Marilyn, her kids and the old family house. He said he loved the idea and that we would do it so, I called Marilyn and she agreed to open the house two weeks before we come up there.

I called Peter to let him know and he sound pleased. He said he would try to spend part of his Christmas vacation with us as he had never seen the old place and, it would give him more time to get reacquainted with me and learn more about David. I told Peter when we would be there and he said he would mark his calendar accordingly. I smiled as I hung up. Seeing him again would be good for me.

David got up and stretched and came over to me. After we kissed, he looked at me. "Lee-Lee, I'm hungry, you mind?" I laughed. "Of course I don't mind. Your usual?" He smiled, "You know me so well, my love." We went into the kitchen where I made some beef stir fry and rice for him. It was so good to just be able to make dinner again, for two.

It was also good to see that his appetite was back, with a vengenance. After he had dinner, I got him a mug of coffee and a slice of the apple pie I had baked a few days before. He looked at me and I smiled as I got the ice cream out of the freezer and placed a scoop on top of his pie. David smiled and began to eat. I sat down and had some pie as well. It was lovely just being with him again.

Later, we went to bed and just held on to each other. It was go good to have him in my arms again and was afraid to let him go. I laid awake for quite awhile just to make sure he wasn't going to disappear on me. Finally, safe in my beloved's arms, I finally fell asleep with my head on his chest.

I woke early the next morning and looked, just to be sure I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't. David was sound asleep, his laughing eyes closed and his hair tousled. I smiled as I slipped out of bed to begin breakfast. The children were going to pre school and I had patients coming in later that day.

As I was frying the eggs, David walked in, dropped a kiss on the back of my neck and got himself a mug of coffee. Little Micheal ran in and pounced his father and a tickling match ensued. I smiled as Micheal finally climbed into his chair for his bowl of cereal and milk. After laying breakfast, I went to get our daughter.

It was a typical family meal and I reveled in every second of it. David was returning to his precint in a couple of weeks and he told me he would look after our daughter while I saw my patients. He smiled as he looked at me, "I'll love taking care of her. About time I did anyway." His grin was as engaging as it was the day I had first met him.

Later, we saw Micheal off to pre-school with his friends and I went into my apothecary to prepare for my first patient. I looked in on David and little Raven and smiled. He was lying on his back on the floor of her nursery with her on his chest. As I went back, I knew my daughter was in the safest hands possible, her father's.

End Journal Entry


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